Elliot's A1 English

One day Elliot was bragging to me about how good his english was amongst all his friends..
Elliot : Gor, you know my friends always ask me about english words,they're so stupid .. i have the best english amongst them !
*Customer walks in .. picks up a dvd game
Elliot reads the title .. F.E.A.R. ..far ! ..Gor this far game nice arh ?

)(*&&^%%$$##@#$@

Elliot numbness

me: Elliot when you go back do remember to copy those newer discs and leave the older ones.
Elliot : ok, ( driving )
*Five minutes later
Elliot : Gor, later we get back please tell me which of those old discs u want to copy...
*fainted ...

Elliot daftness

Elliot:Gor, i can't email this document to the guy, the uploading always stop halfway..
me: did you try with your other e-mail accounts ?
Elliot: i tried liao, hotmail also cannot.. yahoo also cannot..
me: why don't you try using gmail ?
Elliot: i don't have gmail !
me: So who opened the hotmail and yahoo account for u ?
Elliot : i opened it myself
me : You don't know how to open a new gmail account and send arh ? *headache

Elliot laziness

Everyday i had to wake this chap up, he can't wake by himself..
So getting fedup, i began to tell him off ..
me: Elliot you can't depend on me waking u up every morning, if you can't wake up for work why don't u sleep earlier instead of watching online movies and chatting on the phone the whole nite ???
Elliot:Gor, its no use.. even if i go to sleep early i still cannot wake up, i can sleep more than 10 hours a day or more oneee...
me : *speechless

Elliot arh Elliot ...

I have a cousin called elliot, his father is of chinese ethnic, mum's siamese..
Sadly he has failed to inherit his father's brains nor siamese's diligence..
Hence ...this is the story when he stayed with me

Malaysia's 8 Wonders

1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'

The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own a palace ( Dato Zakaria Deros, the Selangor State Assemblyman for Port Klang )

Estimated total cost of RM5 million

2. THE BOCOR PARLIAMENT
The unique feature is its ability to 'leak' away billions of taxpayers money while the guardians of the nation stood there all wet. ( after a RM85 million renovation of Parliament House, the Dewan Rakyat ceiling can spring a leak, drenching the chamber, disrupting power supply for the whole Parliament House and bringing parliamentary proceedings to an abrupt and disgraceful end!)

3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON
The only $128M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories and encounters.
Reasons - No execution was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive.

Maybe it can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.
( expected to complete in Aug 2000 )

4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS
The nation's premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.( RM32 million Project closed down )

5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely designed to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything except alleviate floods.

SMART is an acronym for Stormwater Management and Road Tunnel,a project under the Federal Government initiated to alleviate the flooding problem in the city centre of Kuala Lumpur. The project is implemented through a joint venture pact between MMC Berhad and Gamuda Berhad with the Department of Irrigation And Drainage Malaysia and the Malaysian Highway Authority as the executing government agencies. ( RM2.1billion Project which is not working as its suppose to be )

6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA
The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no internet connection to its residents. ( Dubbed as the IT City of Malaysia, there are still residents around cyberjaya who has failed to get internet connection.)

7. CROOKED 'CROOKED' BRIDGE
The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by a most crooked mind.

Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise it would make it as one of the wonders. It will end up costing more NOT to build than it would have to actually build it.

Malaysia will pay 87 million dollars in compensation to a developer over last year's cancellation of a controversial "crooked bridge" to Singapore.( a RM2 billion project washed down the drain )

8. THE 1ST MALAYSIAN ASTRO MAN

BLASTED OFF TO NOWHERE WITH MILLIONS OF RAKYAT MONEY BURNT IN 10 DAYS FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPACE EXPEDITION HAS ENTERED INTO THE MALAYSIAN GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS AT 10 PM ON 0CT 10, 2007. BRAVO!

A Rm25million Project and ( its mission ) spend on ;

1.Making teh-tarik in space

2.Eating Petai and Durian in space

3.Possible cure of HIV virus ?

Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, the first of Malaysia’s astronaut

Sitiawan, My Hometown >.<

There..this is Sitiawan !!!

That is all there is.. habis dahhh..Don't believe arh ?

Back 40 years ago it started with this place only.. the 'simpang empat'

Now known as Sitiawan or what the postal department mis-labelled as Setiawan.. tarak baca punya.. puikssss.. simply misnamed.

But the younger kids like to call it "City A1"..

Ngek ngek ngek.. why ?

Cos here got NOTHING, if your parents send you here to study, u can only study, nothing else.

No karaokes like .. "Neway" or "Redbox" here.. we still have karaoke here, but simply outdated ones. Watudo ???? So you study and get A's lah.. thus the name 'City A1' ..wakaka

Ok ok .. Sitiawan not so bad one..Still got place to lepak here .. don't worry.

There, the longest su There, the longest surviving supermarket here.. now no longer called "Fajar". already taken over by The Store..
I also don't know why .. this Supermarket can stand so long, things not cheap somemore..

There was a rumour that before they shifted to this new building, the old one was left vacant for a few months.. ( empty ). Only few people .. know about this.. its for inviting the spirits to come to the new building you see.. but those are rumours lahhhh cannot be verified..

If you're a Kelantanese you'd probably heard of KB Mall hauntings.. yeaaa.To the extent bomoh has to be called to exorcise it. Why nowadays ghost also like to work in Supermarkets arh ?? tsk tsk.. NO-EYE-SEE !

If you lepak here all day, chances are you'd lose your shirt.

DO NOT GO IN THE FRONT DOOR AND TURN RIGHT !

Too many vultures ( sales promoters ) there waiting to scrutinize you and eat you up.. In the end, you'd end up buying something you don't need !

Cari makan sajaaaaaa...

This is the back of This is the back of Fajar Supermarket, infamous for purse snatching.

You go by here, better hold you bag nicely, or your phone..don't think Sitiawan is too small for all these to happen.. shit happens..

Although countless of snatch cases by mat-rempits around these areas.. still no police stationed.

You see any police officers there ?

Tarak bukan .. got lahh... look to the left got coffee-shop there..They are all having a nice coffee-break while waiting for the thieves.. Malaysia Boleh ! :X

Hopefully not like those japanese perverts that pulls down your panties while you walk by..If not, Sitiawan will make history again ... hahahaha..

Do you know the first bombings in Malaysia happened here ?

Eh eh.. yea lah.. bombing happened at a nearby used car dealers.

Some say he owes ah loong never paid, some says gangsters attack, others say nothing laah..just a fart !

There this is the infamous foochow 'gong piang' .. nice ?

If you enjoy eating this, try eating it for a week straight.. then tell me if you can still open your mouth..

You can choke someone to death if you put two of these in your mouth at the same time.

Its tough and not easy to chew.. yeaaa.

They should put up a sign there saying " TAK BOLEH MAKAN DENGAN GIGI PALSU"

kakakakkakakkakaka....

Here they add onions, roasted pork inside.. makes its so much more delicious ...yum yum. Anyway, its selling for around 60 cents ( plain ) and add this and that can come up to RM1.20.

Who says Sitiawan people doesn't know how to do business ?

Basically, Sitiawan foochows are a stingy bunch.. don't hope to see them spend lavishly.. But they don't wear nice clothes like you see in bigger towns or fancy themselves with new gagdets or even go for 3g phones .. ( can't say the same for their offsprings .. :X )

Ok now.. this is akimbo penning off.. see you the next time. nano nano.. beep

Neh Wah Eh Sar !!!~ ( foochow for hello )